To my friends that read this blog:

For the record, I want to apologize to anyone that my friendship may have fallen short with. I have a tendency to take advantage of my friends by dumping on them with my problems. (No one actually told me this...this is just something I have come to realize about myself.)

I had a friend come to me today with a serious problem, which had been ongoing for quite some time. I sort of knew about the problem, but only a fraction of it, and I didn't realize the seriousness of the problem, and when the friend told me what the reason was for not telling me about it sooner, I was baffled. It was because they felt I had enough problems already, and they didn't want to overburden me with this problem. Well, the truth is, I feel really guilty somehow because I feel like I wasn't there for my friend when my friend really needed me. Yes, I was there, available to talk, but before my friend could probably get a word in edge wise, I was probably blabbing about my own problems, so my friend probably just decided to keep it to themself.

I want to offer my apologies to my friend, as well as any other friends I may have done this to in the past. I really do have a good listening ear and can give sound advice, but sometimes I get so self-absorbed in my own little problems, I forget other people have problems bigger and more important than my own. So in the future, and this is to everyone, please...if you have a serious problem and really need to talk, please, please, PLEASE do not hesitate to come to me. That is, if you really need to talk about it, and it's something you want to talk about. Do not ever feel like I have too many problems to make time for you.

The truth is, I have my own set of problems...everyone does...even the people that appear to have perfect lives, tons of money, the biggest house, the best job, etc., etc....they, too, have problems. But I always want to be there for my friends and I always want my friends to feel like when there is no one else around, I am there for them in any way that I can be there for them. And I hope I still have a few friends out there that I can go to with a problem.

The thing is, if you keep things bottled up, it festers up on the inside and can drive you crazy. Getting it all out really helps. Friendship isn't always about fun things...laughing, joking, talking on the phone, going out for lunch, etc. Sometimes, okay, a lot of the time, it's about getting through tough times together. And when those tough times come along, it's a wonderful thing to have a friend you can cry in front of, vent to, ask for prayer, or just sit in silence and LISTEN to the other person.

So...all I am asking is please forgive me for failing you as a friend.

In Memory of Samuel "Sammy" Levi Nichols, Sr.
September 2, 1976 - October 22, 2003

In Pieces
by Candice E. Brewer

I know that he's in heaven now,
But on earth we shed many tears
Thinking back on the lost years,
And how now it's all in pieces.

I know that he's in heaven now,
But it's too hard to comprehend
That his life came to an abrupt end,
And now everyone's lives are in pieces.

I know that he's in heaven now,
But still we keep questioning God
This downward pathway he trod,
And all understanding lies in pieces.

I know that he's in heaven now,
But we need to feel at peace
This heartache needs to cease,
Because many hearts are in pieces.

I know that he's in heaven now,
But we need to feel the showering rain
To end all of this hurting pain,
So that we can pick up the pieces.

I know that he's in heaven now
What went undone before his last breath
Was accomplished in his death
And that will hold together the pieces.

I know that he's in heaven now,
And on that great reunion day,
When this old life passes away,
Heaven will put back together the pieces.

I know that he's in heaven now,
There's no need for us to cry
We'll never have to say goodbye
Because we'll no longer be in pieces.

One year ago today, Sam went to heaven and many lives of people we know changed. But I'm not sure if the ones who really needed the change really did change. There's really not much else I can say about this right now, other than not even one millisecond of eternity has passed for Sam, and that is really amazing to think about.

While I'm waiting for Gilmore Girls to come on, I thought I'd stop by here for a minute and post something. The ends of my fingers are numb, and feeling thicker. I now can play chords G, C, D, A, A minor, and E minor. SWEET! And I showed Michael that you can actually play most songs if you know just 3 chords, lol. I taught him the chords for several songs and we worked on them last night. It was better than sitting in front of the TV all night long. It's getting easier to switch between chords, and so I'm just going to keep practicing. Michael thinks I'm going to get ahead of him since I apparently "have all day to work on it." Yeah, I have all day to sit on my rear and practice guitar all day long, lol.

The World Series is now set...the Cardinals and the Red Sox. I don't know why they even bother playing the World Series, because we all know the Cardinals will win. The Red Sox are still under the "curse". Because the Red Sox sold the Babe to the Yankees way back in 1918, the Red Sox will never, ever win a World Series. Mark it down. Yes, the Red Sox beat the Yankees in the ALCS, but that does not break the curse. The Red Sox have to actually win the World Series to break the curse.

Oh...yeah...I almost forgot about football. Memphis plays Cincinatti tomorrow night!

I have things to do, like watch Gilmore Girls, so more later!

My. Fingers. Hurt.

So Michael took my guitar over to Strings & Things to get the strings swapped around, and apparently, since the guitar had been sitting in a closet, unplayed, for years and years, the neck had substantial damage, and would cost at least $150 to repair. Just great. So much for having a Fender. So...

When we went to the closing attorney's office to sign away our life (again) to refinance our house, we found out a few things. County taxes are going way up in January (I already knew that) and that since there's not enough money in our escrow, our payments would go up to $902 if we didn't refinance. Our payments before refinancing NOW are $828. Well, when we first did the application over the phone about a month ago, they told us our new payments would be $765. When we got to the attorney's office yesterday, the paperwork said our new payments would be $785. So in my mind, I was thinking..."This is not even worth it...going from $828 to $785 is not but $43 different from what we're paying now. It supposed to be $63 less than what we're paying now." So we got on the phone right then and there with the mortgage company, and we were informed that the numbers were correct, and when I did the application over the phone, our new payments were figured on the previous county tax rate, not the new one, and since there's not enough funds in the escrow account to cover the new tax amount, our monthly note would be $902 if we didn't refinance. (My question is, WHEN were we going to find this out had we not refinanced? In January. January we'd get a new payment book with a big fat surprise...a $70+ increase on our house note!!!) So everything worked out in the end really, and for the best. $785 a month, when it could've been $902...that's very good. And a huge help. AND...AND...we do not have a house note due in November. The first one's not due 'til December, so guess what that means? Remember my Christmas cash dilemma? Well, we can now use November's house note money for CHRISTMAS!!!

So after that, Michael said we needed to go back over to Strings & Things to pick up the dead guitar, and while we were there, we'd look around. I can't believe I'd never been in there before. We stopped in the drum room first, and Michael made me play one of the drumsets. I hate it when he puts me on the spot like that! Then we went over to the room where all the guitars are. There was a BEAUTIFUL accoustic guitar that caught my eye...the body was blue...the most beautiful blue I've ever seen...I didn't even look to see what brand it was, but it was sitting there with all the expensive guitars, so I walked the other way...didn't want to get too attached to it. Michael started thumbing through his wallet. He had cash in there. That almost never happens. He then proceeded to tell me that he had $118 in his wallet, and if I wanted, I could pick out a beginner guitar and he'd buy it for me. THIS almost never happens either. I mean, we are mostly broke, plus I keep up with the checkbook and the debit card, so him buying me something only happens on Christmas and Birthdays usually. He was going to buy me a guitar!! I asked him "Where did you get that money!?!?!" and all he would tell me was "Don't worry about it." So we left the store with a guitar that the clerk said was their "best seller" beginner guitar. The whole idea was for me to get something I can learn on FOR NOW, and then get the guitar I really want later, and I am great with that.

SO last night I learned 3 chords....G, A, and A minor. I guess I should be learning all the major chords first, but I love minor chords and I wanted to learn one just for good measure. What's so great about this, me and Michael are learning together, and we can share with each other different things we've picked up on. Last night we worked on some cool strumming patterns that we have heard in different songs we like. Our goal is to learn enough chords so we can play a song in church, either with both of us on guitar, or him on guitar and me on the piano. The thing is, already knowing piano helps me A LOT in learning guitar. Especially when it comes to learning the chord changes in a song.

Ever since last night, the song that won't leave my brain is "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams, mainly the line that says :

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it till my fingers bled
It was the summer of '69

Of course, playing 'til your fingers bleed is not a good idea, because then you'll have to go like weeks before you can play again, lol, so as much as I want to learn a lot all at once, I am trying to do just a little at a time.

Oh, and say a big prayer for Michael right now. We studied 3 nights for his algebra mid-term, and did one final review this morning, and he's taking the test right now as we speak!

Okay, it can have 4 doors, only as long as they don't open.

And the only way I'll ever buy one is if Bo and Luke come with it. ;-)

The election is coming up, and guess what? I can't vote. You want to know why? Well, the last Presidential election, we were living in Southaven. Since then, we have moved to the next city over, Horn Lake. In the same county, in the same state, heck some people think Southaven and Horn Lake are the same, lol, but since I didn't re-register, and I've missed the deadline for Mississippi registration, I can't vote. What's really funny is Michael changed his registration LAST YEAR and never said one word to me about it. Like, a "Honey, be sure you go change your voter registration" would have been nice. He says he "might have" mentioned it to me and I didn't "show any interest" at the time, but sorry, dear...nice try...I do not have Male Selective Hearing Syndrome. I've been wondering for like the last month if I could just show up to the fire station here in Horn Lake where Michael said we're supposed to go vote now, (which he voted for Governor, and I didn't, and never knew he voted until a friend of mine like a month later said "Hey, I saw your husband at the Horn Lake Fire Station the other day," to which I replied "MY Michael? At the Horn Lake Fire Station?), and so I just went to rockthevote.com to learn that yes, if you move, you have to change your registration info to vote. Well, Michael honey, I'm not saying it's YOUR FAULT...ignorance is no excuse...it's my fault for being ignorant and procrastinating looking into it. But...it'd be nice to be looked after every great once in awhile. I had even mentioned it to him several times..."I wonder where we go vote now?" and he said "I don't know, maybe the fire station." Not one time did he trigger my brain by saying "By the way, did you change your voter registration? I did."

GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

This is National Blogger Ate My Last Post Month. Grrrrrrr.

So anyway, as I was SAYING....

Some people take sports far too seriously. On the Yankees/Red Sox game right now, they just now put cops in riot gear all over the place "just in case."

Something totally unexpected happened tonight. I got a guitar. Not just any guitar...a FENDER. After attempting to help Michael learn to play his guitar, I decided I wanted to learn. Michael was so super excited about the thoughts of me playing guitar that he made the declaration that he intends to buy me one for Christmas. At first I was like "Nah, I dunno...." I mean, I guess I thought maybe piano was enough for me, but then again, I guess I really have always wanted to learn to play guitar. I can tune a guitar, I am good at rhythms, I know when to change chords in a song. I just don't KNOW chords on a guitar! Michael's guitar that he bought a couple years ago and never did anything with until now is a left handed guitar, so I obviously need my own to learn. Well, tonight when we picked up the kids from my inlaws' house (they went over there for awhile tonight while I helped Michael get ready for his algebra midterm), Michael mentioned something to his Mom that I want to learn guitar and he's going to buy me one, and she just so happened to have one in a closet somewhere. It happened to be a guitar she had bought for Michael years and years ago that he never learned how to play. It's actually a right handed guitar, but the strings were flipped around so a left handed person could learn it. Michael's going to have some new strings put on it tomorrow for me, and then I'll be on my way! Just like that, I said "I wish I had a guitar" and POOF, now I have one! And with a case!

My advice for the day:

Avoid spraying perfume directly into eyes. It stings like heck.

My sudden, sad realization of the day:

Jacob is less than 6 months away from being the same age Travis was when we moved him out of his crib and into a toddler bed, and redecorated his room to transform it from a nursery to a "big boy" room. Jacob is still just so much BABY. I guess it's all in my mind, but when Travis was this age, he was so much more BOY. I suppose a whole lot of that has to do with the fact that by this age, Travis was walking pretty good on his own, and as of today, Jacob is not. Jacob did, however, take 13...yes, count them, 13 continual unassisted steps across the living room floor yesterday. Jacob is a little behind (or so they say) physically, so we may wait 'til he's older than 22 months to move him out of his crib. It just doesn't remotely seem possible that Jacob will soon be 17 months old. Where did the time go???

The other realization I came to, which brings forth much anxiety, is the fact that Christmas is a little more than 2 months away, and here is what I have bought so far:

NOTHING!

We are talking about going to Walmart Friday night to put the kids' stuff in layaway, to help alleviate the stress on Christmas EVE, but it still requires MONEY, just not all at once. We are trying to decide on a spending limit for both kids. I'm thinking $100 each, which I know, in this day and time, parents are spoiling their kids more and more, and kids are becoming less and less appreciative. I think $100 per child in toys is really reasonable, and at their ages, they are going to be jumping for joy come Christmas morning. It wouldn't matter if we bought them cheap toys from the dollar store, they'd still be happy. Travis is already asking about Santa Claus, if Santa Claus is going to bring him and Jacob any toys, and wanting to make Christmas cookies. He doesn't understand the concept of time yet, so I'm sure the hours are dragging by for him. He even asked if Santa is going to come see Kira, lol. As for everyone else in the family, we have no clue what to do. It's going to be a stretch to give the kids a decent Christmas. This is who else we have to buy for, not counting if Michael gets me anything, and if I get Michael anything:

My Mom
My Dad
My sister, Katie
Her husband, Chris
Her kids, Michaela
Will
Andrew
Nicholas
My Mother-in-law
My Father-in-law
Whoever's name in Michael's family that I draw
Whoever's name in Michael's family that Michael draws
Whoever's name in Michael's family that Travis draws
Whoever's name in Michael's family that Jacob draws
Our Pastor
Our Pastor's wife
Pastor's 2 daughters.

That is 18 people, not including my immediate household. Even IF we could manage to spend only $10 per person, that's $180. This does not include any gift wrapping, Christmas decorations we'll need to buy, Christmas cards, postage to mail cards, Christmas pictures (family tradition), any Christmas goodies we buy or bake, and the visit to Santa Claus. Racking up the credit cards is NOT an option.

So $100 per child (our kids) = $200
Rest of the family = $180 (at $10 a person)
Christmas pictures = $80

= $360, which we do not and will not have unless we win a sweepstakes, rob a bank, come across some unexpected money, or someone gives us the money.

Well, I must go for now. The steaks need to be marinaded and my hair needs drying, and I just found out my inlaws are coming over later. Adios amigos!

Here's my question of the day, or week mind you, that I wanted to post yesterday...and this gets complicated:

What do you call it when beetles battle beetles in a puddle paddle battle and the beetle battle puddle is a puddle in a bottle?

And to think this came out of a children's book.

Answer coming later.

I had a question for the day, but I forgot what it was. Don't ya hate that?

Today was a good day, at least compared to how last week went. I got the house clean and smelling fresh (most of it, minus the cat box area...that's Michael's job...a-HEM!!)

I am just sitting up late, waiting for the load of clothes in the washer to finish up so I can throw them in the dryer. I went to Walmart at 10:00 tonight to satisfy my ice cream craving, and while I was in there, remembered I was almost out of laundry detergent, so I bought a new kind that I was wanting to try, and I was itching so bad to try it when I got home (I'm a nerd) that I decided to start the laundry tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow, but NOT before I had a creamy, dreamy bowl of ice cream. So now my sweet tooth has been satisfied, as well as my laundry, or something.

We are dog sitting yet another dog, but only for a couple days. It's Cotton, my in-laws' Pomeranian. He is a highly spoiled ball of fluff, and he's passed out on the couch right now. When Cotton is awake, Kira (the cat) doesn't get along with him too well, okay, so not at all. Cotton will sit still and growl under his breath at the cat until given the command "Go get him!" and he will charge at the cat, and the cat won't hiss or swat at him. He'll just sit there and take it. Poor cat! HE is supposed to be the ruler of the house, not this rotten dog!! What's funny, in his little pea-sized brain, he's a big dog. He has actually chased huge dogs down the street before, no lie. He even has had the nerve to hike his leg and pee on said huge dogs, turn around and walk away, leaving the other dog stunned.

The lightning looks freakish tonight. When I went to the store earlier, the air was so humid I think my hair stood on end, and I had to turn the A/C on in the car. Like, didn't I just have the heater running the other day? No wonder my nose is stuffy and I wake up every night with a sore throat. Last night my throat felt like it had a thousand knives sticking in it. The weather simply cannot make up its mind. Ahhh, the joys of living in the Mid-South.

Well, I'm pretty sleepy, so I have to go evict a dog off my couch now .

Happy Bloggerversary, or something. So I didn't quite reach post #400 yet, but we have all been sick, and getting on the computer was the last thing on my mind. This blog has been great for me, because I've been able to go back and read up on things that happened that I totally forgot about. And my how time has gone by so fast! It just doesn't seem like I've been doing this for a year now.

It's about to storm outside. They even said there was a possibility of isolated tornadoes today.

Michael has the crud. He got sick during church yesterday and had to sit out in the car the remainder of the services. Bleh. Then we went to Chili's for lunch because I was pretty much over my crud, and after having not eaten much of anything in days, I wanted to eat something GOOD. Well, it wasn't a very pleasant experience. It took at least 5 minutes before a server even acknowledged us, then 5 or 10 more minutes before she took our drink orders, and 10 or 15 minutes later before we actually got our drinks, and I had to ask ANOTHER server to bring us saltine crackers for the baby since our server forgot. And when our food FINALLY came out, Travis' mac & cheese looked like it had been sitting out for awhile and then microwaved. Seriously, it looked like leftover mac & cheese that had been in my fridge for a week. When you pay like $3.99 for a mac & cheese kids meal, when you can go to Walmart and buy a box for 60 cents, there's no excuse for that whatsoever. They ended up giving us our drinks for free, and a $10 gift card. So all is well that ends well, I guess. But Michael was turning greener by the minute.

I have to start disinfecting the entire house now. It stinks in here! More later!

Oh, and I'm not pregnant!