Note to self: Remember to blog! Life gets busy for me, I forget to blog for a day or two, and before you know it, I forget to blog for weeks at a time, and that's just not good. What few readers I had left probably don't even come back anymore to check to see if I finally blogged. I wish I could find a happy balance between blogging regularly and actually living my life. If you keep up with your blog all the time, you find yourself living your life in a constant quest to find things to blog about. Like, I could be at Walmart and the check-out girl could tick me off, and on my way out of the store, all while fuming mad, I'd say to myself "I've GOT to blog about THIS!" It almost gets to the point to where I wonder if I'm blogging my life or living my blog?!

The decision-making part of my brain is literally on overload right now. Most of those decisions revolve around what to do about Travis' school this year. We know without a doubt that we want to send him to 4-K this fall. The biggest issue right now is WHERE, and that revolves around a lot of different issues. See, we've already signed him up at Greenbrook Baptist. $110 a month, half-days, really established program...they've been in the pre-school business since before I even went there for Kindergarten, and that was a long time ago. The curriculum they use is Abecca (sp?) which is supposed to be the best there is. The principal even told us Travis would be writing his name by the time school is out. That impressed me. An added plus, they'll learn Bible verses, go to chapel once a week, have field trips, an awesome playground to play on, etc., etc. Travis is really excited about it. Michael and I were VERY excited about it when we signed him up. WERE. That is until our church, which just started a school last year, is starting a 4 & 5-K this fall. We are firm believers in supporting our church's school, plus he'd get to go to school with kids he already knows from church. BUT the cost is $180 a month, plus we'd have to buy uniforms, plus it's a 30 mile trip ONE WAY (about a 45-minute drive). They also are going to use Abecca, but this is their first year, so it's not going to be exactly organized like Greenbrook, but shouldn't we just support it anyway since it's our CHURCH? I feel BETTER about sending Travis somewhere that's closer to home, $70-month less, and very well established, but yet I feel GUILTY for not sending him to OUR church's school, ESPECIALLY after I just found out that another family at our church that lives 2 HOURS AWAY will be sending ALL 6 of their kids there. Like, if they can do it, then what's wrong with us? I have volunteered to help out in the school, and the Pastor said that he won't really know if I will be needed probably until school starts. It all depends on how many 4 & 5-year-olds sign up. They are going to limit it to 8 kids this year, but if all 8 spots get filled, that's a lot of 4 & 5-year-olds for one adult to handle by themselves for 4 hours in a tiny classroom. And if I am needed at the school, which I won't know until school starts probably, they MIGHT be able to cover Travis' tuition, which would be a HUGE help. The gas cost to get there every day is already going to be tremendous. In a nutshell, if Travis goes to school at our church, it's going to be a HUGE sacrifice. As of RIGHT NOW, Travis still has a spot at Greenbrook Baptist. But if at the last minute, our Pastor calls me up and offers me an unpaid position helping out at the school and can cover Travis' tuition, that would be a HUGE blessing, and we could take Travis out of Greenbrook and put him in school at our church, no problem. We'd lose the $70 registration fee at Greenbrook, but that'd be alright if we wouldn't be paying tuition at Grace. I hate it to be all about the bottom line, but for Travis to go to Grace, one of us would have to get a job just to pay for his school if his tuition isn't covered by my volunteering at the school. Michael is looking at probably getting a raise this fall that would cover tuition at Greenbrook, but not at Grace, and with our bills we have right now, our budget is so tight you could bounce a bullet off of it. And then comes the issue of Jacob. If I work at Grace to cover Travis' tuition, I still need somewhere to put Jacob and I'd have to pay someone to keep him. You can't exactly find someone to keep your kid for FREE these days, besides family members (sometimes even family members like to get paid), so we need some doors to open up there, too. If you are reading this, say a little prayer for us that everything will get ironed out. TTFN!

Very late Sunday night, I received a very expensive bracelet. A hospital bracelet. On the wrist of someone that has no health insurance. Sunday was a very, very busy day, being Father's Day and all. First we had church, then went to Michael's parent's for lunch, then to the grocery store, then to my parent's that evening. Around 9:30 p.m., we left my parent's house, and on the way home, this sudden waive of nausea hit me. I felt dizzy, lightheaded, clammy, just SICK! I told Michael to turn the air up full blast and as cold as it would go, which he did. A few minutes later he tried to turn it down a little, but I insisted it be left on until the feeling passed. As soon as the feeling passed (about 10 minutes later), I began experiencing chest pains that sort of moved to my left shoulder area. I reached up with my right hand and placed it on my chest. Michael noticed this, and said "What are you doing that for?" to which I replied "Oh, it's nothing." But the pain didn't go away, and I grew more concerned. We got home, I got on the couch, thinking if I rested a minute, the pain would subside, but it didn't. Michael put Jacob in the bed, and Travis fell asleep in the recliner soon thereafter. Michael called his Mom to explain to her my symptoms and I even had Michael "Google" the symptoms of a heart attack. The things he read off to me were a lot like what I was experiencing. Michael's Mom told me to call the doctor that's treating me for high blood pressure, so I did, he called me back, and said even at my young age of 25, chest pains are nothing to mess around with. He put it to me quite sternly..."Walk into the ER and tell them you're having chest pains." Even after hearing all of this, I almost considered not even going and just taking an ibuprofen or 2 and going to bed, because I do not have health insurance. But I went anyway and just put the whole "how are we going to pay for this" thing in God's hands. Michael's Mom came here to stay with the kids since they were already asleep. Michael put on his flashers and we ran redlights flying down Goodman Rd. We got there probably around 11 p.m. at Baptist Desoto, and my parents got there soon after that. It didn't take them long to get me signed in and into a room. They put me on oxygen, did an EKG, took I don't know how many tubes of blood, and a chest x-ray. We had to wait a very long time for them to get the results back, which was to be expected. It sounds really backwards now, but I kept saying that I hoped they WOULD find something wrong with me, just so that wouldn't be a wasted trip and a huge waste of money. But around 4 a.m., they said all my tests came back normal, and they couldn't tell me anything. The doctor said there are literally 100 reasons for chest pain, and that I should just see my regular doctor the next day. But everyone kept telling me that I did the right thing by going in, especially since I have high blood pressure, and heart disease runs so high in my family history. Upon checkout, they told us that there is a new program where if you qualify, the hospital will help pay your bill if you don't have insurance and have a low enough income (she didn't say what the cut-off is), and she gave me the paperwork for that. We have to fill it all out and turn in 3 months of check stubs and our W2's and tax return from the previous year, within 14 days. We dropped my Mom off at her house since my Dad had went home to get some sleep a couple hours before (in case he was needed to help with the kids the next morning), and we crashed around 4:30 Monday morning. I was very thankful that the kids never knew anything was going on and that we weren't here during the night, I'm thankful that I have plenty of supportive family members nearby, I'm thankful that I was able to come home from the hospital, and I'm thankful that I was able to make it to Travis' last tee ball game Monday night. The pain was gone by Monday afternoon, so there's NO TELLING what that even was. I just know that the symptoms I had with it, and the pain itself, was enough to get my attention and cause alarm.

To follow up from the other day:

As for the kidney stone, I haven't been experiencing anymore pain THERE since Friday, so I'm thinking I may have passed it. I was supposed to have my CT Scan today, but the business office called me yesterday to ask me how I intend to pay for the test (try $1,325.00) and that it has to be paid for up front. I LAUGHED so hard at the lady on the other end...she must've thought I had a couple screws loose, lol. I told the lady that I intended on talking to my urologist's nurse to see if she thought the test was still necessary since the pain went away. She said that if I haven't seen the stone, then there's no way to know if there really was a stone or if I passed it (who's looking?!?!), and that it's possible that the stone could have settled somewhere in my kidney, and if it starts moving again, the pain could come back. She said that if the pain returns, I could give her a call back and reschedule the test. So that's where we stand THERE. Yeah, as if I really have $1,325 laying around. I had to buy a really expensive bracelet Sunday night! (lol)

I guess last Friday was the best day I have had lately...Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today were all B-L-A-H...BLAH! We went out last Friday night for our anniversary. Michael took me to Texas de Brazil downtown, which was AWESOME...and expensive. They weren't kidding when they said bring $100. Our bill was $98, and we ended up dropping $110 with tip and all. They charge by the drink, too, if you order a Coke...Michael had 3 of 'em, lol. So about the restaurant, I'd say it was worth the money you pay. They have a 40-item salad bar, and while there were some UFO's (Unidentifiable Food Objects) on this food bar, a lot of it was VERY yummy. The servers were dressed like gauchos, carrying around these enormous skewers and really dangerous-looking knives. (I kept wondering what would happen if they accidentally tripped over someone's shoe and stabbed someone else in the process.) So anyway, at your table beside your plate, you have this little round card. If you just want to eat off the salad bar or take a short break in eating, you keep it on the red side. But if you want all these different meats brought to you on the giant skewers, you flip it over to the green side. And I promise you, almost the second you flip it over to the green side, you have 2 and 3 gauchos slicing you all these different meats right onto your plate....filet mignot, parmesan pork tenderloin, lamb chops, ribeye, garlic steak, roasted chicken wrapped in bacon, it went on and on and on. At one point, I felt like Audrey Griswald in the European Vacation movie...you know, the part where she's on the airplane on her way to Europe, and she's dreaming that she's being served all this food and her buttons start popping off because her stomach is inflating so fast from eating all that food? lol The place was excellent and worth the money for a special occassion. After dinner, we walked over to the Peabody, went up on the roof and took some pictures, then went over to the Peabody Place mall, I got some Starbucks, Michael got a milkshake at Maggie Moo's, and then we went to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Let me tell you...PERFECT anniversary movie, seeing a husband and wife try to kill each other, LOL. It was a really cute movie, full of action, violence, humor, not really as much bad language as I had thought it would have. I can't stand Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but I still enjoyed the movie. We got out of there around midnight, and since the kids were spending the night at Mamaw's, we didn't have to pick them up, so we came straight home and enjoyed the rest of our evening ;-)

Yesterday was Travis' last game, and it was sort of bittersweet. I am kind of glad that it's over, but I'm really sad that it's over. Travis had so much fun with it and he looked so adorable in his uniform. He made me proud to be his mommy (I already was anyway, but you know what I mean). I was also very proud of Michael and the coach that he was to those kids. We have a ceremony given by the Park Commission this coming Monday, which we just found out about yesterday, which means we have to reschedule our team party we'd scheduled for that date. But that means Travis will get 2 trophies instead of 1, so that's cool too. Travis isn't going to know what to do now that the season is over! The kids were just now getting REALLY GOOD at it, too. I can say that we are really looking forward to next year. This was a learning year, and next year will be a little less stressful now that we kind of know what we're doing as far as organizing everything is concerned.

Well Michael is about to start a movie that we rented last night ("Be Cool"), so I guess I better go! 'Night!