Is it just me, or is there almost a chill in the air this morning? Who could even tell that in the same quadrant of the United States that I live in, there's a hurricane going on? Scary stuff...and I know folks that are heading down there as we speak for vacation.

Yesterday after lunch, I put Jacob down for a nap and me & Travis went out back to play and enjoy the BEAUTIFUL day. I laid down on the swing, stared up at the clouds, and I almost felt like I was floating. If I hadn't had to keep an eye on Travis, I would've dozed off probably. We were out there literally ALL afternoon, and somewhere between 2 and 3 p.m., I heard a very familiar, but distant sound. It was a very rhythmic, pulsating boom boom boom, and then the wind blew just right, the sound became a little louder, and I recognized the sound immediately. It was a drum line...the Horn Lake High drumline I assume, and they were warming up. And then I started feeling nostalgic...:::sniff:::..."I used to do that!"....:::sniff:::...."I miss that!" And then I did the math in my head and realized it's been 10 years....10 YEARS...since I started my freshman year in the marching band. It just doesn't even seem that long ago!! Band was such an important part of my life during high school, and high school in itself is a huge part of one's life, so I almost catch myself saying "Yeah, I'm a drummer...I play snare drum..." But it's been like 6 years since I touched a snare drum. Those were the days......

I'm not jobless...I called my Mom yesterday and she said I could still be her house cleaner, so that means I get to go over there today and clean to make $50, which is always a good thing. $50 for 4 hours of cleaning vs. $70 for 40 hours of keeping a screaming baby at my house....a very good trade-off.

Then tonight we are going to Collierville for a couples' activity with our church. Then we're going to eat Mexican, so that should be fun. Today should be a good day. But if you're stuck at home tonight, be sure to catch the first night of the Summer Olympics.

How sweet it is to sleep 'til 8:30. I guess getting up at 6:00 and 6:30 the last 3 mornings took it's toll on me. Could I ever actually go back to working a job? I don't think I could make myself get up that early! I mean, I spent the first 23 years of my life getting up early to go to school or work, (except during weekends and summer vacation when I was in school), so why is it so hard now?

So what is up with this weather, dude? Is it REALLY August? It's like 67 degrees at 9:50 in the morning, and I have all the windows open, and I am LOVING it. This feels more like October? Maybe even November? Seriously, at a football game on November 1 last year, it was 80 degrees, and here it is August and this week we're going to have highs in the low 80's. Sweet!! We are going to be spending lotsa time in the backyard, going walking, and going to the park.

As a little bit of a continuation to yesterday's drama, I found out from my close friend Angie (she babysits, too) that Wendy (the psycho mom) went to school yesterday, crying to another worker at the school (whom Angie just so happens to babysit for) and told this person that I quit on her. What a big fat lie! And how immature! I mean, seriously, GET A GRIP and SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YA MAMA! (Lol, sorry, Michael says that to me all the time and I thought it'd feel good to say it.) What kind of person goes to work blubbering about her babysitter quitting on her, much less LYING about it! As you will read yesterday's post, you will see that Wendy made the choice to take her child from here and leave. Heaven forbid I tell the Mom that I am unable to comply with some of her requests, and heaven forbid that I let her walk all over me, IN MY HOME, and INTERFERE with MY kids' happiness! So anyway, Angie called me to tell me about it and said that I may have some trouble from Wendy. Not that this other school person told Angie much else, but Angie just kind of sensed that yesterday may not be the end of it. She did also say that Wendy's going to put Abby in a daycare. You know what? I feel sorry for that poor baby! I mean, did you KNOW that some daycares, when it's naptime, put all the babies in their beds, turn out the lights, and make them try to go to sleep, whether it's really time for their naptime or not? And some daycares even put the babies in their highchairs and make them sit there for 2 hours? Insane! Yeah, they will write down your baby's every poopy diaper, but they like NEVER pick up the babies! :::CRINGES::: The other thing I was worried about was Wendy finding my Mom at the school and badmouthing me to my Mom. So yesterday afternoon, I waited until I thought my Mom would be out of school and I called her on her cell phone. As it turns out, she wasn't even AT school yesterday because she had to take my Grandfather to his heart doctor, so that meant that I was able to tell my Mom my side of the story FIRST. My Mom thanked me for warning her, and said that if Wendy confronts her, she will just tell Wendy "I'm sorry it didn't work out, but this is your deal, and it's none of my business." YAY for Moms! And my Mom TOTALLY understood where I was coming from, while I'm sure Wendy is going around the school, RUINING my name, and telling people that I won't feed her baby. What a piece of.......you know. Okay, all of that was yesterday's news, so no more mention of the psycho mom unless she tries to stir up some more.....you know....with me.

And now, I'm saving the best part for last. I just wanted to say that I love my husband so much! I love him more and more every day, and I thank him so much for supporting me, not just in the things that went on yesterday, but in many other things over the last 4 years we've been married. A lot of folks don't give him much (if any) credit, but I give him credit for so many things. He's such a great Daddy, and he's my best friend, too. Marriage really does get finer with age. :-)

Welp, I'm on to check the bank balance (depressing) and to check the Tiger board (Tiger Football is less than a month away!) and then I must fix some stuff on this computer, so later!

Can I expect to be summoned to court now?

I usually don't get the opportunity to sit down to the computer and blog when I'm extremely upset about something, because normally, something that upsets me this bad doesn't happen at home, and by the time I DO get home and get time to write about it, some of the emotion has worn off, so THIS should be interesting...

Here's something else you should know about me: I'm not a pushover. And I feel like if I give in a little, then the next time it will be easier to be taken advantage of, and it becomes one great big snowball effect, and the next thing you know, I'm a dirty, ragged door mat on the front doorstep of a crackhouse down on South Third Street.

After only two, yes TWO, days of babysitting Abby, I am not keeping her anymore, which is probably the best for all, but this morning's events just left a bad taste in my mouth and a churn in my stomach. So lets hit the rewind button to about the last hour or so:

PRESS PLAY NOW:

6:00 a.m. - Alarm clock went off.
6:05 a.m. - I got out of bed.
6:07 a.m. - Turned on coffee maker.
6:08 a.m. - Went to the bathroom.
6:10 a.m. - Brushed hair and washed face.
6:11 a.m. - Poured cup of coffee.
6:12 a.m. - Turned on the TV to watch some news.
6:30 a.m. - Wendy (Abby's mom) arrived with Abby.
6:32 a.m. - Put Abby's bottles in the refrigerator.
6:33 a.m. - Wendy begins to give me some instructions for the day, which included asking me to start feeding Abby her breakfast.

AT FIRST it sounded like she meant just today, like maybe she was running late and didn't have time to give it to her just this morning. So I said that it was okay, even though I didn't necessarily LIKE the idea. But then she started talking about how it's so hard to get Abby out of bed at 5:45 a.m. and how it's really hard just to get her to take her bottle that early in the morning because Abby's still like half asleep. (Ya think? I mean, I didn't even know civilization was awake that early.) Which I told her I understood how hard that has got to be on a baby. (I worked, but fortunately I didn't have to get mine up THAT early.)

So anyway, what really sent off some negative signals in my brain was when Wendy said "Your kids are not even up that early, right? So feeding her her breakfast wouldn't be a problem?" To which I replied, "No, they're not up that early usually".

PAUSE

Okay, so right there, she's giving me something EXTRA to do, on top of all the other things I was doing with her that most babysitters would put their foot down and not do.

PLAY

I then said to her, "Well, the only thing about it is, it's just that I'm not totally awake that early, and when I fed her her lunch yesterday, it took me like nearly an HOUR to feed her 2 half-jars of babyfood." She said "Okay, well I figured you just sat and played with her anyway in the morning, so I thought I might as well get you to feed her her breakfast." And then I told her I didn't really think that would work for me. And then she said "Well I wasn't TELLING you to do it, I was ASKING you if you could" to which I told her "I don't really think I can." And then she said in response to me saying how hard it was for me to get up that early (This is one of the key points of the whole conversation) "You're not backing down on me, are you?" to which I replied "No". And then she asked "So what do you normally do with her in the mornings?"

PAUSE

Just the tone in her voice when she said that made the steam rise up in my chest. Like, she wasn't really looking for an answer...she was saying it in a manner that was demeaning. I mean, what I WANTED to say was "No, I don't have time to just sit and hold her (although I did that MOST of the day yesterday to keep her from screaming) and play with her and do everything a MOTHER is supposed to be doing, and I guaran-dang-tee you I will sit here and do that with MY kids before I tell MY kids I can't play with them because I have to play with a baby that doesn't even belong to me." Any babysitter I know is paid to provide a safe, clean environment and keep the baby from getting hurt, feed him/her, keep him/her happy, keep him/her changed. NOT be a Mother to the baby! A mother's love and time is irreplacable and cannot be bought with a price, and it SURE as heck can't be bought with $70 a week! I mean, when you do the math, I was getting paid $1.55 an hour. But what I really said was....

PLAY

"When she first gets here in the morning, we usually just sit and play with toys in the floor, and when my boys get up, they play with her." Which is true. The last two days, that's what we did until the Scream Fest began an hour later.

And then I mentioned the whole deal about her having to drop Abby off even EARLIER than 6:30 a.m. on mornings that she has morning duty at the school. I asked her if she could get her husband to bring her those days, since just yesterday she told me that her husband doesn't have to be at work 'til 8:30, and doesn't have to clock in, and can get to work anywhere from 8:30 to 10 a.m.

PAUSE

When she mentioned that to me yesterday about her husband, it just really sent off another signal in my brain. I mean, why SHOULD I have to get up SO EARLY if her husband can bring her, and he's not on a timeclock at work? And really, I put it to her in such a way that would be beneficial to the baby (not me) so that the baby wouldn't have to get up SO EARLY, although I'm sure she perceived it the wrong way, and then that's when she started turning into Little Miss Attitude. I also told her that I would always be in my pajamas when she gets here to drop her off, and it was pretty obvious she didn't like that idea either. She DID TELL ME when she interviewed me that she had to choose a sitter NOT based on location, so if she thought I was doing a good job (which she did tell me she thought I was doing a great job so far), then why would she and her husband be unwilling to work with me on that? Throughout this whole conversation, I kept telling her "I'm not trying to be ugly".

PLAY

And then she said "FOR ONE, I work right here (meaning the school right next to me) and it's out of his way for him. He has to drive from Southaven to Horn Lake, then back to Southaven to get on the interstate to drive to work, and that's way out of the way." (All of a stretch of like 4 or 5 miles?) Which is when I suggested him going straight up Horn Lake road, which is the way I went to work every day when I worked downtown. Much straighter shot than going all the way back down Goodman to get on the interstate. And then she said (once again, this is one of the key points of the whole conversation) "Can I even leave her here today?" to which I replied "Yes, that's fine!" And then about then is when she said, "Do you mind if I use the phone to call my husband?" and then I said "Sure, I'll get you the phone" and then she said "I'll just go outside and use my cellphone" and she took the baby outside with her.

PAUSE

I guess by this point she was already thinking I'm psycho or something, since she wouldn't even leave her baby in here while she went to call her husband, although I felt like I was keeping my cool pretty well through that.

PLAY

So while she was outside on the phone with her husband, I went into the bedroom where Michael and Travis were asleep (Michael was awake actually) and told him what was going on. He was totally in agreeance with me that me being given something extra to do was too much to ask of me on what I'm being paid, and he was also in agreeance with me that this probably just wasn't going to work out.

After about 5 minutes, Wendy came back in and asked if I minded if she left Abby here long enough for her husband to come pick up Abby so that she could get to work, and I said "Sure, that's fine." And then she was like "I'm sorry this isn't working out. You need to just keep some older kids." And I told her originally that's what I had wanted to do, but when she called me needing a sitter, I was REALLY needing the money, REALLY, and agreed to do it. I even told her that after our bills are paid, we have like $3 left in the bank, so I was willing to try this. I was going to try it for a week, maybe two, as a trial period...give it some adjustment time...and if it didn't work, obviously I'd have to make a change. And that's when I told her that the whole thing with me writing down her every feeding and diaper change and nap and everything else that she does during the day, doesn't work for me, to which Wendy replied "That's what babysitters do," and I said "Not any of the babysitters I know...Angie wouldn't, Melissa down the street doesn't do that, at least not when she was going to keep my kids, and none of the other sitters I went to church with do that." And then she said "Well that's just different than what I'm used to." And I told her "That's what a daycare is for." And the fact that Abby cannot hold her own bottle doesn't work for me either. And Wendy was like, "What, you can't like feed her and take care of her and love on her?" To which I replied, "Yes, I can feed her and take care of her, but I cannot sit and hold her and give her her bottle while Jacob about nearly fell in on his head in the toy box and I couldn't put Abby down without her screaming. I was terribly afraid that if I let her cry, you would be upset knowing that I had to let her cry." And by that point, Wendy just had nothing to say and said "Thank you." and then "Where's her stuff? Where's her stuff? Where's her bottles? Give me her bag." By this point, I was pretty steamed, too, and when I'm upset, I talk really fast and I raise my eyebrows. plus throw in the fact that I had only had one cup of coffee and it wasn't even 7 a.m. yet. Then she asked me if I could help carry out to her car Abby's supply of diapers and wipes and changes of clothes, and I said "I'm not even dressed, but okay." And I did. And then she asked for a refund. And I told her "No...I kept her for two days (and to me, ONE day of that hell was barely worth $70!!!!) and that I don't even HAVE the money anymore because I had to use part of it to help pay my mortgage. No refunds." And then I reiterated the fact that the I agreed in the first place to keep her because I was in need of the money and that after our bills are paid, we have like literally $3 in the bank. And then she tried to get ugly about the money, and said, "But you backed out on me," (Please re-read bold print above) and I repeated to her that I didn't have the money anymore. I DID NOT back out on her. SHE made the choice not to leave her baby here because I was unable and unwilling to comply with some of her requests, AND she was unable and unwilling to comply with a request of mine. I did offer to keep her for the week or until she could find someone else, and I guess Wendy figured that I didn't want Abby here (which at NO time did I say OR imply that), so she was afraid I'd mistreat Abby, which is SO untrue. I'd never mistreat a baby. So who knows if she's going to try to get the money from me, but can she really take me to court over $70?? I DID keep her for two days, and it was in the original agreement that if I keep her for 5 days or zero days, I get paid the same, except for a few exceptions where we agreed she didn't have to pay me for her holidays from school since she's a teacher. It was ALSO in the agreement that I would give the parent a two-weeks notice if I could not keep the child anymore, and would respect the parent giving me a two-weeks notice in the event my services are no longer needed. I stuck to my end of the agreement by offering to keep her until she could find someone else. She did not stick to the agreement in that aspect. So now who's in violation of the agreement? Thank the Lord I had an agreement in the FIRST place, and I have it in my possession. The last thing she said to me was "Well I'm sorry you are having such a hard time." And then I just couldn't take anymore and I came back into the house without saying another word, and she pulled out of the driveway.

STOP

So that's that. I stood my ground, and for that, I am not ashamed. I did not quit her...she quit me. My first babysitting experience was a flop, and for that, I am disappointed. But no more picky mom, at least not for today! Maybe it's best that it ended this way, because I only sensed things getting worse and worse. She was too picky for me, and I told her such. Sure, I had certain expectations for Travis while I worked, like that he was changed and fed, and fortunately I had family to keep him, so he did get played with, but I also RESPECTED the idea that sometimes, SOMETIMES, baby Travis had to be sat down, because not only did whoever was keeping him have to stop and go to the bathroom sometimes, they had a business to run (the car lot) and they obviously couldn't hold him ALL THE TIME, and God only knows I wanted to up and quit my job and do just that...hold him all the time...but I had to work, so I had to make some sacrifices. But with that being a whole other story, I just hope this is the end of this and I don't hear anything else from her. What's bad is that Wendy works at my Mom's school, and I'm almost expecting a phone call from my Mom this afternoon asking what happened. But my Mom also knows there's 2 sides to every story, and besides, my Mom still needs a house cleaner, so I'll still get some money every week. All is well that ends well, not that the whole babysitting situation ended on a pleasant note, but if she finds some other sitter that meets her child's needs, then wonderful, more power to her! I'm just not that person! I'm not sacrificing my children's happiness for $70 a week, or ANY amount of money, for that matter. If Wendy has so many high expectations for her baby, my advice to her is to either A) Hire a full-time nanny that comes to her house, or B) Quit her job and stay home. I said it before and I'll say it again, you cannot replace a mother's love, devotion, and attention.

I survived yesterday...barely! Yesterday was Abby's first day, and she cries! I mean, I'm just not used to babies CRYING! My babies just didn't cry much, unless hungry, and the way to take care of that is with a bottle. This baby, according to her mom, SAYS that she never cries when she's hungry. Okay, um, like, WHAT?? So then she cries about everything BUT being hungry? I promise you one of us could just look at her the wrong way, and she'd tune up. She only sent the baby ONE formula bottle and ONE juice bottle, and 2 jars of baby food. She also sent me this insane schedule for her. Well, with all intentions of keeping Mom happy, I tried to go by said schedule. Said schedule DID NOT keep baby happy. And the only reason I tried so diligently to stick with the schedule was because the mom ALSO wants me to keep a log of every time she ate, what she ate, every time she has a diaper change, if said diaper was dirty or wet, and every time she has a time. Insane. You know, as long as she pays me up front on Monday mornings, and picks her up and drops her off when she says she is, that's fine, I don't mind doing it, but if there becomes problems with payment and tardiness, I'm going to have to jack up my price or stop writing everything down. I have kids, too, right? $70 a week is VERY inexpensive child care, and really, I'm not technically STAFFED to actually keep up with her every snack and dirty diaper that way...technically, that's for a day care, which is why day cares charge like TWICE as much, but like I said, as long as I'm paid prompty, I will be fine with it. So let's just chalk this up to being the first day, and a lot of Abby's fussiness was due to separation anxiety. The mom is a teacher and has been with her all day every day for the last 2 months, so maybe there will be an adjustment period. But after a couple weeks of this, I feel like the mom is going to get sick of hearing about her baby crying all the time, since she SAYS her baby is a "very good" baby. :::SIGH::: So anyway, Abby was dropped off at 7:30 a.m., and according to her "schedule", she was supposed to have a nap at 9 a.m., and her formula bottle at 11:00 a.m. She fed her breakfast at 5:30 a.m., and so by 9 a.m., Abby was screaming her head off. And I was supposed to listen to this for the next two hours? So I tried everything. First I thought maybe she's just tired and actually ready for her nap. I put her in Jacob's crib, with her pacifier. Her mom said she always goes to sleep with her pacifier, and that's the only time she takes one. Well, for one, she didn't even want her pacifier. She wouldn't even so much as open her mouth so I could put it in her mouth. She screamed more, so I wound up the mobile, which worked for like 5 minutes or so, and I thought to myself "YES! She is going to go to sleep!" WRONG! 5 minutes later, WAAAAH!!! So I picked her up, tried to rock her, and she screamed LOUDER. Then I tried singing to her, she screamed even LOUDER!!! So I got her bottle ready anyway, against mother's wishes, and gave her a little bit of it, which settled her down, so once again I tried to lay her down in Jacob's bed. WAAAAAAHHHH! Tried mobile again, more screaming, tried to rock her, sing to her, more screaming. So I sat her down in the floor with the boys to play with some toys, and she was perfectly happy. Then more fussiness came. I KNEW by then she HAD to be really tired. Finally at 10:40 a.m. or so, I was like "okay, it's close enough to 11" so I warmed up her bottle again, sat down in the rocking chair, and she chugged it down, and within 5 minutes, she was out like a light. Somebody TELL ME that baby wasn't hungry LONG before 11! I was able to get up and put her in Jacob's bed without her waking up, praise the Lord. A little before Noon, I started making lunch for the kids, and we sat down to the table at 12:05 p.m., and I heard Abby waking up, so I got her up too, fed her lunch too, and by 1:30 p.m, she was getting really fussy AGAIN, so I gave her a little bit of her juice, EVEN THOUGH, she wasn't supposed to have it 'til 3 p.m. By the time 3 p.m. got here, the juice was LONG GONE, and I had no more bottles to give her, so I was constantly looking out the window thinking, "Please, hurry up and pick her up! Please! I have no more bottles to give her!" I realize this mom is a NEW mom and this is her FIRST baby, but saying a baby can only have a bottle at this time and this time every day is like NOT RIGHT! ESPECIALLY when the baby is in a NEW place, and babies really rely on the bottle to provide some degree of comfort and security. Anyway, it's time for Scream Fest, so I better run do my job. This needs to get better SOON or I will be the one screaming and crying next!

My words of wisdom for the week:

Internet Explorer sucks...try Mozilla instead.

Now that I can actually sit down from laundry, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, doing dishes, and getting the kids ready for bed (all after I got home from church!), want to hear what's new in Candyland?

Well, starting tomorrow, my life is over. Well, not really OVER, just will be a bit more tied down to the house than before. Not that I really ever had the money to GO anywhere or DO anything. The lady that interviewed me about babysitting her daughter went really well apparently and she wants to use me as her sitter....starting tomorrow morning. She's a teacher, and teachers have to be signed in at 6:55 a.m. 6:55!! What the heck school starts that dang early? None other than Horn Lake Middle School, which is also the school where my Mom teaches, and she HATES it. I mean, instead of making all the other schools start a few minutes later (bus situation) , they make THEIR school start a few minutes earlier. The busses ALREADY run at the crack of dawn. So anyway, all this means that I'm going to have to put on some really strong coffee at 6 a.m. and she will be dropping off her baby at my place at 6:30 a.m. The really good side to all of this is a) I will be getting paid in the morning, in cash, and b) I will be free from babysitting at 3:30 p.m. instead of like the normal working class folks that work 'til 5:00 p.m. and don't pick up their kids 'til 5:30 or 6:00 p.m. Michael starts back to school next week, too, so I am going to need time to get supper ready and on the table by the time he walks in the door from work so he can eat and run to class and/or I can help him with school work. Our lives are about to become BUSY, BUSY, BUSIER all because of SCHOOL. My mom was kinda sorta disappointed because she lost her house cleaner (me) now that I'll be babysitting, BUT, she made a deal with me, and whenever the baby I'm keeping is sick or whatever other reason I don't keep her, I can come clean her house for extra money. Extra money is always GOOD. Speaking of extra money, over the last several days, money has come flying at us from several different directions. It's about time! I mean, the water bill was like $10 more this month than usual because SOMEBODY (me) left the water hose turned on in the backyard ALL NIGHT LONG while watering one of my baby trees my Dad was so sweet to come plant for me a few weeks ago. And then our car insurance went up $10 more a month, for whatever reason. Michael got $100 for going on a car auction, another $100 for helping repossess a car, and then my Mom called me yesterday afternoon on a whim and asked me to come help her with some school work and cleaning, and gave me $60. $60! All I did was vaccuum her house, sweep off the deck, do some little cut-outs for her classroom bulletin board, folded and hung up a couple loads of laundry, and helped make supper and set the table. NOT a bad day's work, if I do say so myself! Plus we got to stay and eat supper and she gave me the leftovers to take home. And then of course I'll get $70 in the morning for babysitting money. Not bad at all. I guess I better get to sleep really soon. At least tomorrow she's not being dropped off 'til 7:45 a.m., but I still need to get up earlier so I can start getting used to getting up. The last time I ever had to get up at 6:00 a.m. was high school...6 years ago!! Night Night for now!