I don't know what my computer's malfunction is lately, but I only get to spend a few minutes online lately, and it seems like most of that time is wasted rebooting my computer a couple of times. I sign on just to check my bank account or whatever, and then all these annoying pop-ups from Internet Explorer rear their ugly heads, and this freezes up AOL. I have pop-up blocker...IN AOL, but then Internet Explorer is running on top of this, and THAT is where the pop-ups are coming from. Now I need to figure out how in the world to disable it.

In other news, Jacob has to go to the doctor today for his 1-year checkup. Yeah, I know it's over a month since he turned a year old, but this was the soonest his doctor could see him. I am not about to take my baby to any of those other quacks up there. Every time I've had to see one of the other doctors, they just brush things off with "Oh, it's nothing" or "It's just a virus" or "I'm not sure what it is...let's run some tests and see," and then they still can't figure it out. But Dr. Phillips, my kids' doctor, always likes to get to the bottom of things and he always goes into a lot of detail explaining things to me in terms that I can understand. Plus the kids seem to like him too...he has a great personality and you can tell he really loves his job.

Speaking of doctors, I need to go to the doctor. Not only has it been over a year since I've been to the female doctor (my mother is upset with me over this, but I don't have $300+ to get this taken care of), and not only has it been going on 2 years since I went to the dentist for a check-up and a cleaning, I also need to see a doctor about my left wrist. At first I thought it was artheritis building up, you know, from playing piano, and this past week or two, I've been playing overtime, trying to prepare a lot of music, but NOW I'm beginning to think it's a muscle strain. Or maybe it's a combination of the two. Maybe the arthritis flare-up was hurting, so I was using my hand differently to accomodate the pain, and as a result, strained a muscle in my hand. Who knows? Maybe I need some arthritis medicine? Maybe it's a stress injury? Once again, I can't afford to go get it checked out. So what can I do? I can't just QUIT playing piano, but at the same time, I don't want it to get worse. It doesn't really hurt while I play either...it hurts afterwards when I stop. Everyone keeps asking me if it's Carpel Tunnel, and I know it's not that....it's in a different part of the wrist and hand...it's more like on the top of my hand, and on the outside of the hand and wrist. And I have this big knot on the top-left of my wrist. It's like maybe there's excess fluid in there and maybe it needs to be drained. I knew a girl that happened to once. Maybe the fluid is just putting a lot of pressure on my hand too and it's causing me pain. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I need to go to the doctor to get it checked out, but I just can't afford it. I am afraid to put any strain or force on it at all in fear of worsening it. It's a struggle to pick up the kids in my arms...it's a struggle to do much of anything at this point. And I can't live on pain medicine for the rest of my life. I did some reading on the internet and it says the only REAL cure is to stop the action that caused it in the beginning, which for ME, is playing the piano. Anti-inflammatories, rest, warm-ups, exercises, massage, it's all well and good, but it is only a temporary fix, not a cure. Is this the devil fighting me, trying to make me stop doing a work for God, and which is testing my faith to see if God will heal me? Or is it God closing the door because He wants me to do other things in the church? I don't even know for sure how to tell the difference. I haven't even said anything to my Pastor yet because I don't feel ready to give up yet. I believe that this is my calling and God is using me, but what if He's finished with me in this part of the ministry? Surely not, but how do I really know? I just told Michael I'd rest it for a few days, give it a break, and see if it gets better. So I'm going to rest it today and tomorrow and see what happens. Just pray for me.

nine Busy is my middle name right now, and that's because a prayer of mine has been answered. I had been praying that the music ministry would really get off the ground, people would be more willing to practice after church, and that more people in the church that have never sang before would come to me and want to sing. WELL, my prayer got answered BIG TIME, because it seems like over the last couple weeks, EVERYONE has wanted to stay and practice, SO MUCH SO, that I have had to tell some folks that I've already got 4 soloists or groups lined up to practice after that particular church service and I have to ask them if they can practice the following service before or after church. AND, AND, just in the last couple weeks, I've had not just ONE, but THREE people come to me wanting to sing. One of them is a new member of our church, and he wants to sing some solos, and so far, the two songs he picked out are songs I already kinda know and have been working on, and the OTHER two people are ladies in the church that have been there for quite some time, and they both want to sing duets. One of them wants to sing a duet with me, and the other wants to sing a duet with our Pastor's wife. I am thoroughly excited and jumping for joy. But now I have a monster of a list of songs that I need to nail within the next couple weeks. But hey, I'm not complaining, it just means I'll be busy.

The Revival this week has been going GREAT!! Sunday my dear friend Dorothy and her sister were down for the holiday, so they came to our church Sunday morning and sang a duet, and Sunday night they sang a trio with the Pastor's wife, and it was really good, and I also sang Sunday night a song called "America, Come Home". ALL of the music has been really really good the last several nights. And the preaching has been even BETTER. LAST night the West family (my friend Angie and her husband, Richard, the one that is my piano role model...he plays by ear, too) came and sang two songs. Man, they can sing, and Richard can tear up a piano. Last night the Revivalist showed a video on hell. Some of the folks that had a part in making "Titanic" made this 10-minute film, and the film cost $57,000 to make. The video shows a man being thrown into hell. He kept falling and falling into an endless pit of firey brimstone, and you could see him screaming. It was VERY realistic and VERY scary, and we had 3 saved last night. What really got me is that Bro. Nichols (the Revivalist) told us that the man that played the role in the film is not saved, and even after watching himself being thrown into hell, he still rejected Christ. I just can't understand how someone could reject Christ after seeing themselves thrown into hell.

In other news, Travis' birthday is Saturday, and we're having his party at CiCi's Pizza. I still have to order his cake and go to Party City to get all the party favor stuff and decorations. I just hope the $50 I got at my mom's Friday for helping her around the house will stretch out enough to buy everything. Money is tight, but at least I was able to pay for the house note one more month and have groceries in the house for another week. The Lord has always taken care of us, so why would He stop now?

I need to unload the dishwasher, make the bed, get myself and the kids dressed, sweep the kitchen, and do a load or two of laundry, and practice my music for awhile, so I better run. More later.