Sometimes I get depressed at Christmastime. I mean, mostly I'm happy and feel very blessed, to the point of feeling undeserving of all the things I've been blessed with. I have nothing to complain about, really. I don't have as much money as I'd like to have (who does?), and I have more debt than I'd like to have (who doesn't), and I could stand to drop a few pounds (who couldn't?), but other than that, life is great for me. We have a beautifully decorated home, inside and out, my children have Christmas toys this year, we have lots of family close by to go see, I love this time of year. But then I take time to think about Christmas memories from the past. While those memories are wonderful, they also make me sad. I am reminded of loved ones who are no longer with us, and I'm reminded of how life just simply changes over time, beyond anyone's control. The years tick on by, and right now, my babies are small and full of life and happiness and fun and innocence. But before I can even say Merry Christmas, they are going to be grown with families of their own, and who knows if they'll even live close by or even get to come home for Christmas at all? There's no way to tell what life will bring. All I can do is keep trying to make sweet memories so I can cherish them forever and ever. My parents always made Christmas special for me, and I want to pass that down to my boys so that they will pass it down to their children. More than that, I want my children to know the TRUE meaning of Christmas, something my parents didn't teach me, which I know I've touched on before, so I won't go into that again.

The other thing about Christmas that depresses me is when I stop and realize that there are needy families out there, that won't even have a Christmas...no tree, no presents, not even any food to eat. How often do we take those things for granted? Shame on us for spending lots and lots of money and having extravagant holiday celebrations. Seriously...it makes me want to DO something. My kids have a warm place to sleep and food on the table every day and a closet full of clothes and bedrooms full of toys and loads of presents under the tree. This year, our church has "adopted" a family of 11 kids. They live near our church, in a single-wide trailer...SINGLE-wide. Often they don't have electricity, they ARE on food-stamps now, before that the kids were going door-to-door in their trailer park begging for food, they have NO car, I personally don't know the whole story, but basically, they aren't going to have a Christmas this year, and so a lady at our church is heading up something to give them a Christmas, including a tree, and one toy and one outfit for each child. Basically she has a list of all the ages and sizes of the kids, and everyone can either buy a toy, an outfit, or just give some money towards one of those things.

Anyway, I'm totally wiped out after this entire last week. I feel like I haven't stopped running, and the running isn't over yet! 'Night!