My brain is jumbled up with a thousand things right now, and not a one of them can I tell about on here. It sometimes sucks to have people actually read this, because I can't actually put my true feelings down sometimes. I'm a woman with secrets and dreams all my own, that no one will ever know about, and sometimes I want to scream because I want things to be known, but then again, I don't because I am in fear of the consequences if people knew certain things that I felt about them. The quote from the movie, Titanic, comes to mind when the old Rose says "A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets." How true is that? Everybody probably has at least one person they tell "everything" to, but there are still some things we keep to ourselves that go beyond "everything". There are certain feelings and thoughts that I have from time to time, if I told anyone what they were, they'd probably either think I was a really sinful person or would call Lakeside almost immediately to have me admitted. Is this normal? I guess the KEY here is to keep certain thoughts under control and not act upon them...just keep them as thoughts, never tell a soul, and carry them to your grave. As humans, can we really keep from thinking certain things? Yes, we can control ourselves from carrying thoughts out, but can we really stop thinking such thoughts? It's an internal, eternal struggle to keep my mind from drifting backwards to different points in my life and to ask myself "Why didn't I do that differently?" This is not to say that I regret the way my life turned out, because I do not IN THE LEAST. It just all goes back to the fact that I cannot help some of the things that I think about, and wish that I could correct some mistakes I made along the way. And no matter how badly I want to tell someone, and no matter how hard I try to just send the message to someone else's brain via telepathy (no, I don't really believe in telepathy), I can't because there's no telling whose feelings would be hurt or what trouble could be stirred up or who I would scare away. I grew up learning from Mr. Rogers (don't laugh)...he always said it's okay to feel the way you feel, so if he says it's okay, then maybe I'm really not crazy. I really hate keeping secrets, especially when they are my own. Ask anybody that knows me well...I will eventually spill it.