It's June already. Where did January through May go?? Soon, the first half of 2004 will be over and done with. Is it just me or does time go by faster and faster every year? Now that it's June 1, that only means one thing...Jacob's birthday is Thursday. This time last year, I was wallering in pure misery, lol. NOW I'm wallering in pure misery because I have to throw together a small, inexpensive birthday party for him in 2 days. I also have to clean the whole house, order his cake, buy decorations, get the video camera charged up, and figure out what I'm going to feed these people. Then NEXT month we have to do it all over again for Travis' birthday, except for Travis' party, we're having it at McDonald's in Olive Branch so all the kids can play themselves silly and not destroy my house, PLUS we won't have to buy tons of food...everyone can come and buy their own food. That's not considered tacky, is it? Surely not. But if it is tacky, then oh well. We are poor so we have to be tacky poor people I guess.

Now page 2...I came to a realization about myself yesterday. Over the years, I've had people tell me from time to time that I am closeminded. And you know what? In some ways, that is true. Growing up, I never really had the chance to form my own opinions and views on things. Whatever my parents believed, I believed because they constantly drilled their ideas into my head. It wasn't until I was 19 years old that I really started forming my OWN opinions about a lot of things. The only problem was, this didn't fly too well with my family, and that in itself is something I had a problem with. It's like there was this huge sign etched into my brain that said, "The proper thing to do is always do what pleases your family...nevermind what you yourself think." I am sure a lot of us feel this way to some degree...whatever our parents said, we believed to be the ultimate truth. If our parents taught us growing up that the sky was red, we would believe it and it would take us becoming adults to realize for ourselves that the sky is actually blue, but then this would cause conflict with our families because they would still try to argue and say the sky is red, even though we know better. There are certain things I want to instill in my kids...certain principals, values, etc., but there are lots of things I want them to have their own opinions on and I want to respect that. In case you are wondering what brought all of this on, yesterday I was watching on CMT that Crossroads special with Dolly Parton and Melissa Etheridge. Well, Dolly Parton is an EXTREMELY talented song writer, singer, and musician. Growing up, however, all I ever heard my mom say about Dolly Parton was that she didn't like Dolly's voice and she didn't like a lot of her songs. Not once did I ever hear about how talented Dolly truly was and is today. I never learned this information until after I moved out of my parents' house and got married. Back then, if Dolly came on the TV, I shut it off. I never took the time on my OWN to give her a chance. I am not, by any means, a Dolly Parton fan...I'd probably never pay to go to a concert of hers. But I have RESPECT for her musical abilities now, an opinion I wasn't able to form under the roof of my parents, and the ability to form my own personal opinions about many other things in life. Yes, there are certain things that people will still think I am "closeminded" about, especially when it comes to certain standards I refuse to change, or my religious beliefs, but besides that, I have thrown much of my closedmindedness out the window.