Our Pastor's wife had her baby yesterday afternoon...YAY! She had an 8 lb. baby girl! We are going to go see her tonight after Michael takes his last final,(although Michael SNUCK to the hospital last night to see her BEFORE me...he claims that he wanted to see her BEFORE I got there and started getting all weepy).

I can't BELIEVE she had that baby with no epidural. Am I just a WHIMP or something? I'm sorry, but when I went to the hospital to have Travis, as soon as they got the pitocin going in my IV (stuff that makes you start having contractions), I was having BAD contractions within like 5 minutes, and I was like "Ummm...can I please have my epidural now?" Actually, it was MORE like..."MICHAEL!!! FIND THE NURSE NOW!!! DRUGS...I NEED THEM...NOW!!!" Well, okay, maybe it was somewhere between the 1st one and the 2nd one, lol, but I had to do my Hollywood skit. But anyway, she said it hurt really bad and she was crying the whole time, and then when the baby was born, she couldn't even cry for happiness because she was all cried out.

Now onto my next thought, you know what REALLY makes me mad? EVERY TIME I hear about someone I know having a baby the RIGHT way, it makes me feel like a failure. I had BOTH of my babies via c-section, and that makes a lot of women feel like they failed. I mean, with Jacob, I pretty much had to have a c-section with HIM because I had a c-section with Travis, and the two pregnancies were really close together. Plus, my blood pressure was really bad, so it probably would've caused me to have a massive stroke to try and have a normal labor with Jacob. But with TRAVIS? In my heart, I feel like the c-section may have been unnecessary. In hindsight, I think, "Okay, was my doctor just trying to make a couple extra thousand dollars to buy his kid an extra nice birthday present?" I mean, seriously. With Travis, I was induced at first, which I also think was unnecessary...they induced me 6 days BEFORE my due date, and this was my first baby. Why didn't my doctor just wait and see if I would go into labor on my own like at my actual due date? Of course, back then, I was so miserable and ready to get that baby out of me, I didn't even THINK about saying, "Wait!" They say if you are induced, your chances of having to have a c-section are VERY high. Well, I was induced, and I honestly don't believe Travis was quite ready to come out of me. I only dialated to 6 cm, and then my labor was a complete flop. And the doctor kept saying that baby was still "too high" like he hadn't really dropped yet. All of this after pitocin and them breaking my water for me. I was having contractions, but they were doing NOTHING to keep my labor going. So after your water is already broken, it's not like they can send you home, and Travis was basically stuck there, and you can't just leave a baby in there like that, so of course then they had to do a c-section. Maybe I shouldn't be complaining...I had a healthy baby, and c-sections really aren't that bad. But that still doesn't change the fact that I feel like a failure. And I never got to experience actually giving BIRTH. I was numbed up from head to toe, strapped to a table, and cut open and the baby was pulled out. Part of me says "Maybe it's a good thing that medical science has perfected the c-section, or I may have been one of those women in the 1800's that died during child birth." But I don't really think so. If my doctor had allowed nature to take its course, I probably would've gone into labor on my own and had no problems. There's nothing I can do about all of this now, but it still makes me mad, and when I hear of all these other women I know that just popped out babies like it's a fun little game, it just makes me DEPRESSED. What gets me, is that I know of like 3 in the last couple months that had their baby with no pain meds whatsoever, and then they talk about it the next day in their chipper, perky voice, "Oh, it really wasn't that bad at all!" I guess the saying "You forget the pain of childbirth when you hold your baby for the first time," is true. I didn't feel a THING when mine were born, but OH BOY, when I stood up from the hospital bed for the first time, I was defitely feeling things I didn't want to feel, and for the next 2 weeks or so. I guess I may as well give it up. I'm never going to experience child birth the way it's supposed to be. :(

And when I go see the new baby girl today, I'm going to want one, and that is never going to happen EITHER!