Too Much Blogging

I know I've blogged way too many times today, but if I am boring you to tears, then don't read my blog anymore, ya got it? Okay, now that we've got that cleared up, I have just been writing and writing and writing the past week or so. Not really sure what is giving me inspiration, but whatever it is, it needs to keep inspiring me because I'm on a roll and I just wanna keep on rollin'. I've written a handful of poems, a song, and I'm even working on a story. Good thing I can type fast, or I'd have serious writer's cramp right about now.

Tomorrow night we're going downtown to see The Lion King at the Orpheum! I bought these tickets waaay back in July, so I thought this would never get here! I think it'll be neat though. We just have to figure out where we want to eat beforehand.

Tonight I came to this sudden realization that Jewel has been around now since 1995. She's been around almost 9 years!!! Her first album was released in 1995, but I never started paying attention to her until 1997, and by that point, she was still only on her first album, so to me, she's been around since 1997. Her 2nd album didn't come out until the end of 1998. Then another album came out in 2001, and then another one this year. I also had the awesome opportunity to see in concert in Orlando, Florida last year at Hard Rock Live. That was the most awesome experience. We stood literally for 4 hours. It was just a stage and a floor, no chairs. Everyone crammed in there and squeezed in as close to the stage as they possibly could. And me in my big shoes, my feet were killing me and I didn't even realize how badly my feet were hurting until AFTER the concert when we had to walk back to the car, but it was well worth it, I got some great pictures, and just getting the opportunity to see her in concert is something I won't soon forget. She had recently had an accident where she fell off a horse and broke her collar bone, so for awhile, we were unsure if the concert would even happen, but luckily it didn't get cancelled, but even still, she wasn't supposed to be playing her guitar, but she did anyway. ANYWAY, her music took awhile to grow on me, actually, but once it did, I loved her. She is the one singer/songwriter that has had a lasting impact on me. It's as if she has been there for me through boyfriends, heartbreaks, & crazy love affairs. There are so many of her songs that I felt like she was going through the exact thing I was going through at the time she wrote the song. The first song I ever heard by her was "You Were Meant For Me", which got a lot of radio play. Once I started thinking about how/when I started listening to Jewel made me remember Scott. It wasn't until December of 1997 that I had the opportunity to listen to some of the other songs on Jewel's first album. And the one person I would never think would own a Jewel album is the person that introduced me to her songs. The one song that he played for me at first that really stuck out in my mind was "Near You Always". He sent me a short wav clip of the song, and I had to go out and buy the whole CD just so I could hear the whole song, and from that moment on, I loved that song and was hooked on Jewel. This is a rather strange thing, but my mom was the one that introduced me to this guy that happened to be my age, that she talked to in this Civil War chat room. His name was Scott, he lived near Nashville, and his family OWNED Tennessee Pride (in case it didn't dawn on you yet, that's a pretty well known sausage company). He was as country as country could get, but dressed a little preppy. He was shorter than me, but he was really a cute guy. We dated long distance in December 97/January 98. We talked online mostly, but we talked on the phone some, sent each other pictures, and 2 days after Christmas in 1997, he came down to meet me. I really liked this guy and we seemed to hit it off, but with me coming out of a psychotic relationship like the one me and Marc had, it was just too hard to find someone who wanted to deal with me having to deal with Marc's alleged suicide attempts. and Scott didn't want to make time for me anymore, my mom wasn't going to let me drive halfway between here and Nashville to see Scott, and I ended up getting back with Marc. Why, I do not know. I guess I didn't want to be alone, and I had pity on Marc. So January 1998 we got back together, for the 3rd time, and we tried to put everything back together, but the truth was, our relationship was in total shambles from previous events, and I think more than anything, we needed someone just to hang out with because we were both lonely as heck. But geez, with boyfriends like that, who needs a psycho ward patient? LOL We finally broke up for good in January 1999, and for once in my life, I was single as could be. No attachments. I wanted to be by myself, but at the same time, that scared the ever living crudola out of me. It's really crazy how things seemed so complicated back then, and now it all makes sense as to why I did what I did. Back then it seemed like a big dramatic soap opera, and now I just look back on certain things and I go "DUH!" Exactly one week after we broke up, I met Michael online. And it hadn't been too long since he'd come out of a big relationship, too. The girl dumped him and married some much older guy like a couple months later. So here I was, not wanting to get involved with anyone, and there me and Michael are, going out on our first date 2 weeks after me and Marc broke up, and Michael has to go and tell me he loves me. And the whole being by myself thing, once again, was history. So you have to understand. I do not have a clue what it is like to be alone, to be single, to be without a companion. I do not know HOW to be by myself. I have literally been with SOMEONE since January of 1996. That's 7 years. If I had to become single again, for whatever reason, it would be like trying to turn a house cat into an outside cat or something. Or even worse, a goldfish out of water. I don't even know why I'm talking about becoming single. I'm just saying like if something were to happen to him. Okay, I'll shut up now...I am just rambling. I am going to bed now. More tomorrow.