The sermon this morning was very thought provoking. I can't even begin to sum it up. All I know is that it really worked on my heart. The Pastor kept making references to Sam and how sin crept into his marriage and tore them apart. All I can say now is that seeing Sam & Crissy's marriage disintegrate has been a lesson to all of us, not to let the devil creep into our lives, because he will, and he will take hold of anything he can, whether it is our marriage, our health, our finances, etc, etc, etc.

Dorothy and her sister, Lora, came into town from college for the funeral and all. They both visited Bethel for the morning service, but tonight they both came to our church. It was so good to see Dorothy again; I'm only sorry that it was under these circumstances. (For those of you who do not know, Dorothy used to be our church pianist, and she was the one who encouraged me so much to use my talent to play for the church.) Between congregational hymns, the Pastor gets up to make announcements as usual, and he said "We have several visitors with us tonight, and it's great to have my sister, Dorothy, back on the piano. (The pastor and Dorothy are brother & sister, in case you missed something.) Then the Pastor looked over at me on the piano and he said "Wait, that's Ms. Candice!" and then everyone in the congregation kind of chuckled, and then he said "I guess Dorothy isn't missed around here!" and then he just smiled and said "The Lord really has provided our need." (Referring to Dorothy leaving and the Lord providing our church with another piano player.)

Isn't it a shame that the only time old friends get together is for a funeral? Sammy's visitation was tonight. Michael skipped church tonight and went straight to the funeral home. Michael was able to call up a bunch of people they went to school with, and many of them were there. It was definitely a reunion, but why don't friends make time for each other just because? I went on to church since I had to play piano tonight, then afterwards I rode with another couple from church to the funeral home.

All I could do was go up to Crissy and give her a hug. The girl looked like she was on some heavy antidepressants of some sort, which who could blame her? I probably would be, too, otherwise, I wouldn't be able to face anyone. I literally saw people walk right past her, without speaking to her at all. Just sad.

Seeing Sammy wasn't what tore me up so much. It was seeing all of the pictures they had sitting around. They had a huge bulletin board set up that had a collage of pictures of Sam with his two boys, pictures of Sam growing up, pictures of Sam & Crissy, not to mention tons of pictures in all kinds of picture frames of the two of them. There were wedding pictures and lots of snap shots. I felt like someone pulled my heart out of my chest and stepped on it. It was like I couldn't breathe for a moment, and then I just started crying. Sorry if all of this is getting too personal and too sad, but I have every right to include it in my entry. The funeral is tomorrow at 1.

Afterwards, Michael and I were in the car and he said the best thing we can do is to not let something like this happen to us.